Using Law of Attraction To Win Back Your Ex – Yay or Nay?

Can you use the law of attraction to resolve things with your ex or should you focus on attracting someone new?

This is an awesome question that was posed to me last week.  I’m so grateful this was asked because it brings up some very important points about the law of attraction and your ability to deliberately attract the things you want into your life.

There are probably different answers to this, and you must always honor your intuition first and foremost, but in my opinion NO, you shouldn’t focus your deliberate attracting energy on getting an ex back or even getting anyone specific to do something specific for you.  (Be it a job at a specific company, receiving money only in a very particular way, getting someone in particular to love you back, etc.)

Here are three good reasons why:

1)    It’s limiting you and actually blocking your heart and energy from new love.  The Universe (or God or Source or however you relate to the Divine) wants you to have the relationship that is really in your best interests.  By staying attached to an old and limiting idea of how you can receive love (as comfortable as it may be) you are affirming that that is all you’re capable of receiving and all you expect.  Be open to the possibility of something better!

law of attraction, women, happiness, love, bliss


2)    It keeps you energetically in the same place.  Of course there are times that couples do break up, experience growth apart, and then get back together and are the happiest they’ve ever been together (and I’m not saying that can’t happen with you).  But a majority of the time there are pretty darn good reasons why the relationship wasn’t meant to be and it probably didn’t feel good, energetically or otherwise, to come to that choice point.  Your soul mate relationship is of a higher vibration.  It feels good, it feels easy, it flows, it feels natural, and supports your highest calling and path in life.  As painful as letting go of something that isn’t right sometimes is, it’s that letting go that allows your energy to expand and reach a higher level of expectation than you’ve been at before.

3)    You simply can’t control what other people do.  You can’t.  Period.  True, when you change yourself others around you may respond differently or change in some way, but ultimately that’s up to them.  Spending your valuable energy trying to change an outcome for someone else is only draining and heartbreaking when it doesn’t come to fruition in the way you imagined.  And are you only going to be happy in your life as long as that person is continuing to give you exactly what you wanted?  You’re a much more empowered creator than that.

The law of attraction isn’t about trying to control external circumstances; it’s about finding what you want within yourself first. 

So what does work?

Focusing entirely on what you want in your relationship only not in the form of a specific person. 

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Now you know a big reason I use so many silhouette pics!

For example, if your recent breakup has made you realize that you are really ready for someone that wants you as a partner for life, then focus on that.  How does he treat you?  How does he speak with you?  What do you do when you’re together?  How do you know you’re his one and vice versa?  How do you feel when you’re together?  How does your relationship feel even when you’re not together?

Get into the energy of that.  Feel it.  You can write it down, talk about it, or visualize it.  That way you’re clear about what you want and what it is you need in a partnership but you’re open (keyword: open) to all the many ways that that can come into your life.

And you’re allowing the space for the Universe to bring the love and partnership that is your divine right to you.

What do women who attract their soulmate have in common? Get my free video lesson The 6 Practices of Women Who Attract Their Soulmate, plus get on my email list for more deliberate dating tips and exclusive discounts on coaching and courses by signing up here!


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