Nine Harmful Love and Relationship Myths Courtesy of Popular Entertainment
Every once in a while I revisit the topic of how popular entertainment perpetuates terrible love and relationship myths.
On the one hand, you might know you’re watching or reading fiction, but you don’t consciously know the spellbinding power of incredibly well-executed entertainment. Whether it’s enthralling prose or beloved characters backed by amazing special effects, fiction has the ability to change your very beliefs if you aren’t conscious about what you’re taking in – and it can start controlling your ideas about love and affect your dating choices.
Here are 9 of the worst love and relationship myths continually maintained by popular entertainment.
You can be snarky and hateful to each other while falling in love.
Some of the most loved fictional couples of all time were continually hating each other as they were falling in love. From a particular man of Pemberley to a pair of teenagers learning how to be wizards, the snarky quips of a couple that the audience knew was falling in love might make for a dramatic story on screen. However, in real life constant arguing with someone is not a good indication of a soulmate match and probably wouldn’t work out well in the end.
The love of your life (or you) can’t settle down because he’s off saving the world.
Famous in superhero or serial films like Tomb Raider, the idea that the dream guy or gal doesn’t have time for love because, well, they’ve got more important things to do is not as innocent as it may seem. It maintains the myth that love isn’t necessary and that if you’re doing anything worthwhile with your life, then you can’t be in a committed relationship.
Instant attraction and chemistry is true love.
Very likely the most common myth that probably goes back as far as entertainment does. The Romeo and Juliet fantasy that instant locked eyes and undeniable chemistry are the main, and even only, criteria for choosing a partner in life creates such an unrealistic expectation for that first meeting without any importance on getting to know the person. In real life, the importance of the two should be switched. Let’s not forget that R & J die at the end.
The person you settle down with is the person you settle for.
Though not as obvious, I’ve seen this often enough to mention it. The main character loves someone that can’t be with her for one reason or another and marries some other mediocre person just to pass the time, I guess. Here’s a new and better myth for you – the person you marry is your superhero.
You can treat people like crap, and they will still love you.
Much like the snarky couple falling in love, perhaps verbal abuse in entertainment is there to add drama or humor. Unfortunately, being cruel to others in real life is no joke, and certainly, no one is going to love you for it. So why are we still laughing about it on television?
Chasing the elusive love of your life is preferable to being open to the one that loves you.
A certain long-running cable series featuring four 30 to 40 something ladies that should have known better but apparently didn’t ran on this theme. Though the myths perpetuated by that show alone could have its own book, it was the series finale that was the ultimate disappointment when the main character ended up with the “love of her life” that strung her along and even cheated on her for the entire series. The idea that her fate with him is anything resembling romantic is enough to make a soulmate attraction coach gag.
Stalking is flattering and romantic.
Recently I watched a 90’s flick on Netflix where the leading man was flat-out stalking the leading woman, who he didn’t even know. But he was poetic and wealthy, so it seemed incredibly romantic in that context. This theme has been prevalent over the years and sends the terrible message that unless a man is continually chasing you, he must not really love you. And it maintains that men don’t need consent from women to pursue a relationship, either.
Violence and abuse are hot.
Speaking of consent. If stalking is terrible, then violence and rape are horrific. So why is it the norm, even portrayed as steamy, in entertainment? I will not be recommending a certain film series about the many hues of a certain black and white color anytime soon. Violence has no business being in a love scene. Ever.
Married and family life is the pits.
The penultimate theme to rule them all. As if the others aren’t bad enough, there’s a slew of “family” movies and adult comedies that depict marriage and family life as dull, disappointing, sad, and incredibly stressful. I wouldn’t blame anyone that buys into that myth for not wanting marriage or a family. Thankfully, that’s just more B.S. perpetuated by an industry that, for the most part, don’t care to depict soulmate love positively.
If you’re seeking real love with your soulmate partner, then become aware of any beliefs put out into the collective by the media and choose only to consume messages that align with your higher desires for love.
Ready to attract your soulmate? Get the free video lesson The 6 Practices of Women Who Find Their Soulmate right here.