How I Met My Soul Mate

Last week I was asked what it was like when I first met my soul mate and I thought it might be helpful to answer via the blog.  So, how did we meet?  And how did I know he was the One?


Pictured: Not us

Three years ago I became very committed to preparing myself for my ideal partnership and attracting my soul mate.  My intention was to get married and start a family while continuing to grow spiritually together.  Months before I was even close to meeting my husband I was doing a lot of inner work so that I could choose my partner wisely and be a loving partner for him.  Some of the most crucial things I did at that time was:

1)    Getting extremely clear about what I wanted – in my life, in my relationship, in my partner, in the dating and courting (is that still a valid word?) process.  Keep reading and you’ll see how this helped me.

2)    Aligning my inner self, or vibration, with what I wanted – any remaining limiting beliefs about love, marriage, or my own self worth I had I changed or transmuted them into energy that serves me and that matched the partner and relationship I wanted.

3)    Taking inspired action aligned with my new vibration and what I wanted – once I felt ready, even pretty excited, about meeting my husband to be I took the unexpected, but inspired, action of joining what’s probably the most popular dating site.

After about six months of inner work I felt ready, primed, and excited about dating to meet my soul mate.  It felt like he was just waiting around the corner.  I joined the online dating site to put myself in front of men that were potentially looking for the same thing I was.  With all of the clarity I gained I created a fun but pretty straightforward profile that expressed what I honestly wanted.  Due to my profile honesty (specificity) combined with my age (35 omg!) response wasn’t overwhelming but there were some nice guys that responded.  But I didn’t care about quantity, just quality.

Six weeks later and four first dates after joining the site my husband to be messaged me.  According to his profile, which I read in detail, his values and desires were very much in line with mine.  Plus he was kind of cute.  This one I was considerably more excited about talking with and meeting.

Right away I broke one of the “Rules” when we had our first phone conversation and we talked pretty deeply and for quite a while (over an hour if memory serves).  Turns out he had attended one of my yoga classes a few months prior at a health club, too.  We set a date to meet in a few days and we did.  I was really looking forward to meeting him.  And…

The date wasn’t all I expected it to be.

Due to a combination of my own high standards, his nervousness, and watching the San Jose Sharks lose the first game of the Stanley Cup Conference Finals there – I left feeling disappointed and decided I wasn’t going to see him again.


Pictured: Not me

When he texted me the next day, I responded that I didn’t think we were a fit.  The following day he wrote a heartfelt email to me apologizing, saying he thought I was great, and that this experience taught him a lesson.  This led to an honest email discussion about what was going on for the both of us, which led to a phone conversation where we talked about what we wanted and needed if we went forward again.

His emotional maturity and ability to be able to talk about things (on the phone no less!) if we didn’t see eye to eye was one of the TOP qualities I was looking for in a man.  Nervousness aside, he had all of the qualities I wanted in my partner – this is why it was crucial that I had already had so much clarity as I could of missed the boat based on an initial and false impression.  At that point I had also told several girlfriends about the situation, all of which were telling me to give him another chance.  So I did.

And it’s been awesome ever since.

So how did I know he was the One?  Clearly…I didn’t!  I remember thinking on the second date he could be the one.  Then a few months later I remember thinking and us saying to each other that we loved each other.  Then we got engaged and planned a wedding and ultimately said vows and moved in together.  But there wasn’t one moment when it suddenly hit me that he’s my soul mate.  I believe that’s a misunderstanding about soul mate love.  It isn’t a sudden realization, it’s a journey.

In reality he’s my soul mate because we’re on this journey together and our love is always growing.  Yes, we’ve learned over time and are still learning that we aren’t perfect people but our path together is what, in my opinion, makes us soul mates, not a sudden recognition.

So that’s my how I met him initially, but really I’m continuing to meet him over and over every day.  What I learned was:

1)    Don’t judge too quickly.

2)    Have as much clarity as you can, but also be open.

3)    And your soul mate isn’t just a person, it’s a journey.

I hope you find this story helpful and inspiring.  Can you relate to any of it?  I’d love to read your comment below.  If you enjoyed this please share!

With Love,


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