Dating Online To Find Love Without Losing Your Mind
Don’t Go Crazy Dating Online
Your eyes might roll back uncontrollably at the thought of dating online, but the truth is that being active online, in addition to being active in your real life, dramatically increases your chances of meeting someone special. I and many of my friends and clients have met their soulmate with an online dating site or app.
The key to successful online dating is to treat it as a tool for meeting potential dates while not allowing it take over your life. Link with potentials and right away have a meet-up date in person to see if there’s a connection. The most soul-draining thing you can do is engage in an online “relationship” before even knowing whether or not it could work out. (The exception would be if you’re meeting over a long distance. And yes, that can work out well, too.)
Here are a few essential tips for completely rocking dating online without losing your mind:
Choose No More Than Two Sites To Be Active On
If you’re seeking a relationship that’s serious and will lead to marriage, you can save a tremendous amount of time by skipping all the sites that aren’t focused on partnerships. Keeping in mind how many potential matches in your area/age range could be on a website and the usability of the site, pick one but no more than two places to be active on. Spending time on more than that can be time-consuming, energy-draining, and outright deflating.
Register For Sites That Have the Most Singles Close To You
Once you’ve picked your favorite online dating sites or apps, do a little research either with Google or by doing a user search with the free trial to find out exactly how many potential dates in your geographical area are on that site. If there’s very few, then you know it’s not worth your time even signing up for that one.
Use An Accurate and Stunning Main Profile Picture
One of the biggest complaints about dating online, from both men and women, is that the person who shows up doesn’t look like the photo they used. It’s crucial to use a current and accurate photo. That said, it’s just as important that your main profile picture be the most stunning representation of you. Photos typically don’t do the average person justice, and online you’ve got a few seconds before someone decides to swipe left or swipe right, or click on your profile. No matter your age and appearance, make your main profile pic your most stunning you! There are some fascinating insights as to what photo traits get the most response online here.
Write An Engaging Profile With Stories
What to put in the profile text can be a huge stumbling block for many. Seeking your soulmate is one of the most important and worthy endeavors in life, so it might seem impossible to translate your soul’s yearnings into an online dating profile that; 1) doesn’t ramble on, and 2) doesn’t scare people off.
Writing your dating profile can be made simple, and fun, by writing up to five short anecdotes, facts, or stories about yourself that reflect your most important values. If health is something you’re seeking in a partner, then write a sentence about when you ran alongside a zombie in a 10K. If you’re looking for a partner that wants to start a family, then write a brief blurb about drawing pink walruses and playing Moana with your three-year-old niece. If you want a partner that shares your spiritual practice, then write a quick note about beginning your day with meditation.
Keep it brief, value-based, accurate, and fun.
Get New Responses By Bumping Yourself Back To the Top of Search Results
New profiles tend to be put near the top of search results to engage users that have been on that site for a while. Because of this, it might seem like you get a lot of response at first, then it drops off after a few days, only to disappear entirely in a week or two.
A little trick I learned on the site where I met my husband was that if I made minor updates to my profile (even as little as changing a word or two in my profile), I got bumped back up to the “fresh” profiles at the top of user search results. Every single time I made a change, I would get new messages and interest.
If your response level has dropped, try making a small edit to your profile and see if that gives you some new responses.
Get From Online To the First Phone Call Quickly
If you’re ready for real love and want a partnership, then whatever you do don’t engage in an online “relationship” before you’ve even met the person. It should only take one or two messages to exchange phone numbers and take it off the dating site or app.
If he seems genuine but shy, you can throw out a, “You sound great and I’d love to get to know you better on the phone now. If you’d like, please give me a call at ***-***-****. I’d love to hear from you!” Then the ball is in his court. If he has some excuse for why he can’t call you, then perhaps decide whether you want to invest more time into interacting with him.
*** One of my clients did meet her soulmate overseas online, and they got to know each other on Skype for months before actually meeting face-to-face. They are happily married now! While this can happen, I’d say this is more the exception than the rule.
Then Get To the First Date Quickly After That
Similarly, you don’t want to spend a lot of your time getting to know someone on the phone without even knowing whether or not you will hit it off in person. A few conversations and texts should be all it takes to arrange a first meet-up date. If he’s shy about it, a lot of great guys are, then say something like, “Well, shall we continue this conversation in person?” And let him take it from there.
Date For Your Soulmate While Having a Carefree Attitude
The last, and arguably the most imperative, tip for not losing your mind while dating online is having the right attitude. For myself and other women that met their partners online, they took it seriously enough to have high standards for the type of people they met in person and found out quickly whether or not there was long-term potential with someone.
At the same time, their attitude was that dating sites were merely another avenue or tool for meeting potential dates. They didn’t make it their life, they didn’t use it as a way to kill free time, and they indeed didn’t have a “relationship” online. But most importantly, they continued to live their own interesting life and meet dates in other places, too.
With these simple hacks, dating online doesn’t have to drive you crazy, but it might very well introduce you to your soulmate.
Want to know what do you when you get offline? How to know he’s the one and you’re headed in the right direction?