What You Can Learn From George Clooney’s Engagement
George Clooney. Engaged. At 52. Perhaps you’ve heard.
I’m really happy for the both of them. Based on what little I’ve read they do seem like a great soul mate match with aligned deeper values and I’m sure they’ll have a fulfilling marriage together.
His engagement at this point wasn’t surprising at all to me. For years whenever there was some report about Clooney in a relationship with yet another beautiful model or actress amidst probing questions of “Could she be the one that changes his mind about marriage?” I always said aloud or thought to myself: he will not settle down until he’s at least in his 50’s.
Perhaps that guess was based on the experience of knowing many other confirmed bachelors, 40 and up, for years in New York City – there was something about him that just read, “I will get married when I’m damn well ready and until then there is nothing any woman can do to change that.”
Photo courtesy of People.com
Ah, but he did change. Or did he? What worked this time around? There are some important lessons in this very public story that I think any woman wanting to find her soul mate partner, and one that is ready for marriage with her, can learn from.
Clooney got engaged when HE was ready. Not when the woman he was dating wanted to or when the public wanted him to. When he was ready. Some might say that it’s only because he just happened to meet his match now…certainly that is part of it. But I also happen to believe you meet your best match when you’re truly ready, and available, for soul mate commitment. The lesson: Date a man that is as ready as you are. If he isn’t ready, he isn’t your soul mate.
Clooney publicly declared that he would NEVER marry. Um…that’s a red flag. Big time. If a guy that is pursuing you or you’re interested in has declared recently that he will not get married, believe him! He’s telling the truth – at least about how he feels at this point in time. That means he is in no way considering you wife material. And, not that I know if she did this or not, but if I were in Ms. Alamuddin’s shoes I would have inquired about his current stance on marriage very soon after meeting him. The lesson: Find out what he wants for commitment and marriage before getting involved. If his vision doesn’t align with yours, then move on
He didn’t want marriage but that sure didn’t stop him from getting into long-term relationships with other “ for right now” women. I don’t bring up this point to judge him as most of us, myself included, have done things unintentionally to hurt others in relationships at some point. But really? If you have no intention of getting married, then why enter into a relationship with someone? At some point she will want marriage.
As a woman I do know that after a long-term relationship where time and intimacy have been shared together, a break up really hurts no matter who initiates it. I’m making an experienced guess that there were many such heartbreaks before he met the one he was ready to commit his life to. I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels to go through love and loss in the public eye.
Unless a man is very conscious and has decided, often for spiritual reasons, to remain abstinent until finding his right match, he will probably go ahead and enter into an intimate relationship with a woman that he likes and finds attractive – even when he knows he’s not thinking marriage. The lesson: Don’t be that woman. Become committed only when you are sure you both have your future in mind together.
Amal Alamuddin, with Clooney or not, is on her soul path. From what little I’ve read about her, she seems pretty darn rad. She’s smart, she’s a career woman, she’s multi-lingual, and she has a deeper humanitarian purpose. She certainly wasn’t putting her real life on hold until she met her soul mate. Her physical beauty is just the icing on the cake. It’s not surprising that Clooney’s, a humanitarian himself, soul mate match would be a woman on that path. The lesson: Share your soul qualities and talents with the world NOW. Don’t wait to meet the right man or to have a family or for some other life marker. Your match will find you on your soul path.
Perhaps this seems like pretty obvious stuff after the fact. But I do know that I and many other women have ignored the signs of a man that was not ready for deeper commitment. Hoping he would come around only resulted in our heartbreak, though thankfully not featured in the tabloids.
I hope that the story of this very public couple can serve as a lesson in attracting your George Clooney.
What do think? Surprised? Not surprised? I’d love to hear what you have to say so please comment!