4 Tips For Never Dating a Narcissist Again
Never Date a Narcissist Again
Without a doubt, the single largest common factor amongst my clients and community members now ready to attract their soulmate is that they have experience dating a narcissist in the past. Narcissism in relationships is hardly new but, now with a name, so much awareness has been brought to light about how to spot one, how to get over one, and how to never date one again.
Learning to date deliberately will help you identify a narcissist early on and avoid becoming bonded with him, so you can stay open and be available for genuine love instead.
The following 4 tips will safeguard you against narcissists while you’re dating.
Recognize love bombing when you see it.
He sends you a dozen red roses. He whisks you off to Paris. He says he loves and wants to marry you. Sounds great, right?
The problem is you’ve only been dating a week. He doesn’t actually know you and you don’t know anything about him yet and he’s already showering you with over-the-top love.
Used by narcissists and cult leaders alike. Love bombing is a manipulative technique to make you emotionally bonded to him before you’ve had a chance to consciously assess him and the health of your relationship.
Dating deliberately tip: Get to know him before accepting his grandiose gestures of love. If he can’t wait and respect your boundaries, he’s not the man for you.
Judge the genuineness of his love by his overall actions.
Actions speak louder than words is a cliché for a reason. You will be able to tell whether or not he’s genuine by what he does, rather than what he says.
And I don’t mean superficial actions like giving you flowers, flattering you, or physical affection. The actions you want to watch out for are how he speaks to you and others, how he is with his family and friends, whether or not he respects your wishes, whether or not he listens to your point of view, and whether or not he wants to really to get to know you, too, before jumping in.
Dating deliberately tip: Observe his day-to-day actions as you’re getting to know him.
Prioritize soulmate love over superficial love.
Once you’ve decided that you’re not going to settle for anyone less than your soulmate you will naturally begin to tap into, and even prefer, his inner qualities and values over a superficial facade that can easily be faked.
A narcissist will not be able to hide what’s really going on inside if you make it a priority to get to know him on this level. He might not even try to begin with, knowing you won’t fall for his tactics.
Asking open-ended questions that invite him to honestly respond are a great way to get to know him better and to reveal whether love is really a priority for him or not. Questions like:
What would you still like to do in your life?
If you met your dream woman, what would that look like?
What makes you happy?
Dating deliberately tip: Prioritize and get to know his values and inner qualities by asking him deeper open-ended questions.
Release the importance of alluring qualities in order to be attracted to him.
Fun, humorous, charming, romantic, and passionate. Yes, the narcissist has those down pat, but when you first meet him do you stop to think about what else he has to offer you?
Chances are that by the time you’ve tasted each of the qualities above you’re hooked and can’t step back far enough from the relationship to look at it objectively. It’s helpful to plan ahead and analyze this before you even meet him.
Ask yourself, “What qualities about my ex (or exes) was I so drawn to? If I didn’t need those alluring qualities I’m so attracted to, what would I be attracted to instead?”
The answer to that last question reveals the real, genuine nature of the soulmate love you are seeking.
Dating deliberately tip: Release the necessity of superficial qualities that a narcissist can easily fake and be open to love that’s real.
Try out these tips and prepare yourself by consciously dating to get to know someone for who he really is, and you will find you’re much better prepared to deal with a narcissist next time. And perhaps you can avoid him altogether.
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