10 Hidden Signs You’re Not Ready For a Relationship
How To Know When You’re Not Ready For a Relationship
If you’ve been single a while or if you just got out of a relationship, you might feel the call to date and find someone to be with. This urge can be powerful before summertime and before the winter holidays when there is additional socializing and family time. Hey, who needs to hear, “When are you going to settle down?” from your mom or dad one more time?
However, if you’re feeling an urgent need to meet someone, slow your roll.
How do you know if you’re really ready for a relationship or not?
Here are 10 not-so-obvious (but some should be) signs that you’re not ready for a relationship yet:
You haven’t let go of someone else.
Conventional dating advice might tell you just to get back out there. That you will heal your heart by finding someone new. Unfortunately, dating with a broken heart and entering a new relationship with emotional ties to your ex is a recipe for disaster. You will likely attract the same scenario, with all the same conflicts, again. Heal your heart, heal your relationships.
You’re tired of being alone.
Being single for a long time does get old. Even if you’re an introvert and cherish your alone time, it’s not as if you want to be alone a majority of the time. But a relationship will never fill the void of being alone, even when you’re living together. Focusing on being alone will increase your feelings of loneliness. Try this: instead, think of the positive motivation for finding love. Think about how much love you want to give someone.
You’re mainly attracted to people that remind you of your ex.
You’ve got a type. A particular type. And this type happens to be incredibly similar to your ex. C’mon! This really isn’t fair to you and anybody you date. 1) If it didn’t work out with your ex, there’s probably a good reason. Why would you want to attract someone that’s exactly the same into your life again? And, 2) You’re really limiting your options. There could be an amazing person that would be perfect right in front of you, but you will miss out because you’re so stuck on a type that no longer serves you.
You’re really invested in your single lifestyle.
And this is very understandable. When you’re single, you have so much freedom and time to do anything you want. You’re not tied down to anyone in particular. You’re free to flirt with and date who you want. Yes, there are a lot of beautiful things about being single. So are you really ready to let all of that go? Because in a commitment you will no longer have all of those benefits. If you’re still really invested in your single lifestyle, then you’re not ready for a relationship.
Dating sounds exhausting to you.
Though first dates can be loaded with awkwardness, dating overall shouldn’t sound like a pain in the behind to you. When you’re ready for a relationship, the idea of meeting someone new with the potential of soulmate love should invigorate you and get you excited. If you would rather stay home and catch up on Netflix than meet someone new, then maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship.
The idea of commitment feels uncomfortable.
Feeling nervous about first dates is one thing, but does the idea of commitment make you feel uneasy? If so, then there are still some underlying beliefs about relationships that are preventing you from having a completely open heart at this moment. Take some time to discover and heal those blocks, so you attract a love that’s entirely new and enter your relationship with joy.
You don’t believe a satisfying relationship can be a reality for you.
Do you feel like you have to settle or sacrifice in some way to have the ultimate relationship? Do you think things like, “Yes, I do believe it’s possible BUT I won’t be totally attracted to him…?” No one wants to sacrifice their values just to be in a relationship, and you shouldn’t enter a relationship with that attitude. When you’re ready to commit to a relationship without feeling like you’re losing anything, then you’re ready for a relationship.
Words like soulmates, love, and marriage make you cringe. Even just a little.
The other day I saw a woman post on Facebook that she hated the term “making love.” If romantic words like these conjure up fairytale-like fantasies that end in a musical number and nothing resembling real life, then perhaps you’re not entirely ready to have these things in your life.
You’re not done doing YOU.
Or maybe you’ve still got things to do. Accomplishments and goals that you’re still working on that might be considerably more challenging for you with a partner at your side. And that’s okay. If you’re still doing your journey, then you should be free to do it before you find the one.
You aren’t exactly single.
This is one of those signs that should be obvious, but very often it’s not. If you still have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a husband, a wife, even if you are separated…then you’re not ready for a relationship. When you’re free and ready to be with someone else entirely, then you’re ready.